My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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