A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
