rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
