Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
