I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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