My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
