i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
