She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
