So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
