Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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