the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I looked at my own cervix.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
