Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
