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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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