oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
should my penis look like a turkey
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
