I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
