We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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