Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm at about main and main street
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
