A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
