He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
