my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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