yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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