for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i would one night stand the shit outta him
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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