And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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