Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
