I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
