The best revenge is premature balding
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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