dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
how drunk are you?
Several
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
