Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
