drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
