dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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