I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize