How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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