In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
