Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
