3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
