Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
