i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
