I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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