and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
