David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
