I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
