one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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