We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
