may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
