i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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