I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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