I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
