I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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