Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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