i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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