that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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