Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
