Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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