i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
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