This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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