i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
