it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
