I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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