I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
