every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
