im drinking this country out of the recession.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
