All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
