Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
