I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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