I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize