She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
