I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I will be naked everywhere
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
